a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
