Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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