Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
