so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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