TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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