Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
