I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize