Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
