There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
