People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
