Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
