worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
