I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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