We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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