**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
well you can't waste a boner
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
