I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
