I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
