I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Randomize
