i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he was CRYING into my vagina
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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