i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm really busy with my period
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