He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
