I just made out with a guy for $7.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
