I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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