I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
