Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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