so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
