Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
