I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
