he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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