He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
