I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
