Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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