Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
