How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Say something about gay babies.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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