im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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