Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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