i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
