I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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