Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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