Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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