You work out of a Hotel?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
