Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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