We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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