I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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