I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
