i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
