What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
