you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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