...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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