Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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