At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
