Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
