Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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